This is probably THE biggest misconception that extroverts tend to have
when it comes to introverts.
And you can’t really blame them for having that kind of
misconception.
Extroverts tend to have to drag introverts to parties, to convince them to
go and sell them on attending social engagements. When introverts politely
decline, extroverts automatically assume that something might be wrong so they
always ask if everything’s all right and of course, everything is all right.
It’s just a common misunderstanding. When extroverts see a pattern like this
developing, they automatically assume that introverts are shy or anti-social as
that can be the only logical explanation to them. What’s more, when extroverts
try to engage introverts in small talk, it seems like they hit a brick
wall.
Add to that, most extroverts see that introverts tend to be fond of
engaging in solitary activities such as reading, writing, and daydreaming.
Well, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it must be a duck
right?
Wrong.
Introverts have more brain activity in their frontal lobes and when these
areas are activated through solitary activity, introverts become energized
through processes such as problem solving, introspection, and complex
thinking.
Extroverts on the other hand tend to have more activity in the back of
their brain, areas that deal with processing sensory information from the
external world, so they tend to search for external stimuli in the form of
interacting with other people and the outside world to energize them.
There’s a deeper science to this that involves differences in the levels of
brain chemicals such as acetylcholine and dopamine in extroverts and introverts,
but I won’t get into that.
The bottom line is that introverts are just wired differently than
extroverts. There’s nothing “wrong” with them. They just become energized
through different processes depending on where the majority of their brain
activity takes place.
Granted there are introverts who may be shy and anti-social, but that’s
just a coincidence that perpetuates the myth that ALL introverts are like
that.
You’ll find that all introverts are fine just the way they are until people
begin to subtly suggest otherwise.
2. Introverts tend to dislike small talk.
If you really want to engage an introvert in conversation, skip the small
talk. Introverts tend to love deepconversations on subjects that interest them. They love to debate, go past the
superficial and poke around the depths in people’s minds to see what’s really
going on in there. Most, if not all introverts tend to regard small talk as a
waste of time, unless it’s with someone new they just met.
Why?
Because extroverts notice that introverts don’t talk that much with other
people. Therefore, extroverts assume that introverts think they’re too good to
talk to others, hence arrogant and that’s hardlythe case.
It’s just a matter of preference.
Extroverts thrive on small talk. Introverts abhor it.
There’s nothing wrong with either choice, it’s just a matter of
preference.
This brings us to the third point.
3. Introverts do like to socialize – only in a different manner and
less frequently than extroverts.
Yes, it’s true. Contrary to the majority of public opinion, introverts do
like to socialize, but again, only in a different manner and less frequently
than extroverts.
Introverts love anything that involves deep conversation. They get
energized by discussing subjects that are important to them and they love see
what and how other people think, to connect the dots, to dig deep, to find root
causes, to use logical thinking via debate in conversation, etc.
And what’s more, introverts can do a lot of things extroverts are naturally
good at - give great speeches, schmooze with everyone, be the life of the party,
charm the socks off of total strangers - but only for a short period of
time. After that, they need time for themselves which brings us to the
fourth point.
4. Introverts need time alone to recharge.
Extroverts tend to think introverts have something against them as they
constantly seem to refuse generous invites to social engagements. Introverts do
appreciate the offers, but it’s just that they know it will take a lot of energy
out of them if they pursue these social functions.
They need time alone like they need food and water. Give them their space.
There’s nothing wrong with them. They’re not depressed and they’re not sad. They
just need time alone to recharge their batteries.
5. Introverts are socially well adjusted.
Most introverts are well aware of all the social nuances, customs, and
mannerisms when it comes to interacting with other people, but they simply don’t
choose to socialize as much as extroverts, which makes it easy for extroverts to
assume that introverts are not socially well adjusted, as they have not seen
much evidence of them interacting with other people.
This just exacerbates previous misconceptions and gives way to labeling
introverts as nerds, geeks, loners, etc.
It’s easy to understand why society tends to value extroverts over
introverts. Human beings have lived in a tribal society so having to interact
frequently with people came to be a regarded as a very good skill when it came
to survival.
But because of this high value placed on extroversion, introverts tend to
feel trapped and find themselves in a catch 22 situation.
Do introverts stay true to who they are and risk social alienation and
isolation or do introverts conform and join the extroverted side, pretending to
be somebody they’re not just to fit in?
This is precisely why I adding this article, because if the extroverts can become more educated about introverts, introverts will be able to feel free to stay true to who they are, and that’s a good thing from society’s point of view.
Trying to “turn” an introverted person into an extroverted person
is detrimental because it gives off a subtle suggestion that there is something
wrong with them, hampering their self worth and esteem when there is absolutely
nothing wrong in the first place.
There’s nothing wrong with introverts.
In fact, introverts are the leading pioneers of advancements in human
civilization. Albert Einstein, Issac Newton, Charles Darwin are a few introverts
that come to mind, just to name a few.
And for those of you not interested in science, but pop culture, you’ll be
surprised to see a lot of well known names in Hollywood are introverts as well.
Julia Roberts, Steven Spielberg, Christian Bale to name a few as well.
And for those interested in sports, Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods come to
mind as athletes who are introverts as well.
Introverts have a lot to bring to the table. They have an amazing ability
to discover new thoughts, an uncanny ability to focus, to concentrate, to
connect the dots, to observe and note things that most people miss, to listen
extremely well and are often found having a rich and vivid imagination
too.
The more extroverts become knowledgeable about introverts, the less tension
and misunderstanding there will be among the two.
So if you’re an introvert reading this, send a copy of this article to all
your extrovert friends so they can get a better idea of what you’re all
about.
It’s time to finally clear the air
3 comments:
Thank you for posting this about introverts. I am an introvert and like it very much. My husband is an extreme extrovert. Watching him be himself is sometimes draining. I am going to share this article with my friend who is an introvert. :-D
Love this post...I couldnt have said it better! thank you!
Tammy
You're welcome! Copy & paste and pass it on!!!
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