Unfortuately, Some things Never Change

  Well, its a new year and I've been living in my new apartment for about 6 months. I do like it, it's what I've wanted for a long time, long before I hurt my feet and had to leave my larger apartment. Part of the problem was that with my stage(3) of diabetes, I lack the energy. The other thing, I don't have any friends that could help (most of them have either died of AIDS, or we just drifted part, and, not being close to my family, I just didn't like the idea of asking them for help, some of them can be condescending to me (unconsciously, I guess).

  I've lived there for at 30 years, and in that time, I only had a visit from one brother (out of three). But let me say this, my oldest brother will come by if I only need some help, but that's about it. I rarely talk to them on the phone, just to say hi.

  For my part, I've come to accept it, and not make a big deal about it.  They sometimes try to make a issue of it, but never follow though. It's just that we'll never be close. Fine.

 Since living alone for about 37 years, I've adapted a lifestyle that may seem strange to some, enforcing the 'rules' in my place, just trying to have a quiet, content life.

  All I do is crochet, use the computer, and watch TV...that's it. Being on disability, living on a low income, I try to keep my life simple. I know, understand, that in regards to both my health and income, they won't get any better. I only have that and my property (which, during being moved out, I have 'less' of.)


  My only regret is how my family perceives me. But, sadly, that will never change.