Saturday, December 31, 2011


Well, I've come to accept that idea over the past few years Yeah, I know , it might sound cynical to some people, but let's get real can't be all sweetness and roses. Sometimes it's cold, harsh, bitter and just plain f*cked up!!
I stopped by one of my old crochet classes I used to teach at last week, where I hadn't been there since about May. I officially stopped teaching there as a volunteer several years before, but occasionally, would stop in from time to time, mainly, of the 5 other places I taught, it had the most students, and was the easiest to get to.
But for some time, i began to feel less wanted, more tolerated there. I'm always the only male at this and other similar places, and sometimes felt like a oddball, so, I decided to back away.
So, when I arrive, they're were only a handful of people there before the holidays, but they were all glad to see me. Here's the thing.....
All the time i was gone, not one person ever tried to call. Yeah, they all said they wondered what happen to me since they hadn't seen or heard from me in a while. Even one student said there were times when 'thought' about calling....but never did.
Now you know, if anyone needed my help with something, they always find a way to contact me.
But I guess it comes down to a matter ofconvenience . As long as you're worth something, and you make yourself available, then it's OK. but it you don't, you're just a thought.
"If you don't make the effort, the effort won't get made!"
It irritates me whenever I run into people who say 'I've been meaning to call you", take down your number or email address each time, and never call or write. Like the ones who want you to call, write, or visit them, but they never do. It's just a matter of convenience.
So, one student asked for my number, I told it's the same number I've always had, each and every time she asked for it. She looked back at me like I lost my mind!!
I've decided to call people on their phonyness. What have I got to loose, right?
If you say you're gonna call, then CALL!! Don't ask for my address, and don't write or visit. If you don't have anything to say, just keep it short....I won't be offended if I know it's honest.
It's like being lied to directly to your face. Feeling like you have to say something, isn't worth it to me.
I've learned not to ask for a number or address if I'm not going to use it. but will accept it if offered.
Never been much of a visiting /calling person, I tend to talk too loud and stay too long, and find people need to make excuses to cut the visit or call short. So, from my end, the few and far calls/visits in between, the easier it is on everyone.
Also, I will not give a gift to someone unless it's directly in their hands. Common courtesies, like a 'thank you' response aren't what they use to be....nowadays , unless you're directly in front of the person, you might ever get a thank you, if, or until, the next time they happen to see or hear from you....again, it's just a matter of convenience ...!

Being a Introvert

1. If a person is introverted, it does NOT mean they are shy or anti-social.

 This is probably THE biggest misconception that extroverts tend to have when it comes to introverts.

 And you can’t really blame them for having that kind of misconception.

 Extroverts tend to have to drag introverts to parties, to convince them to go and sell them on attending social engagements. When introverts politely decline, extroverts automatically assume that something might be wrong so they always ask if everything’s all right and of course, everything is all right. It’s just a common misunderstanding. When extroverts see a pattern like this developing, they automatically assume that introverts are shy or anti-social as that can be the only logical explanation to them. What’s more, when extroverts try to engage introverts in small talk, it seems like they hit a brick wall.

 Add to that, most extroverts see that introverts tend to be fond of engaging in solitary activities such as reading, writing, and daydreaming.

Well, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it must be a duck right?


 Introverts have more brain activity in their frontal lobes and when these areas are activated through solitary activity, introverts become energized through processes such as problem solving, introspection, and complex thinking.

 Extroverts on the other hand tend to have more activity in the back of their brain, areas that deal with processing sensory information from the external world, so they tend to search for external stimuli in the form of interacting with other people and the outside world to energize them.

 There’s a deeper science to this that involves differences in the levels of brain chemicals such as acetylcholine and dopamine in extroverts and introverts, but I won’t get into that.

 The bottom line is that introverts are just wired differently than extroverts. There’s nothing “wrong” with them. They just become energized through different processes depending on where the majority of their brain activity takes place.

 Granted there are introverts who may be shy and anti-social, but that’s just a coincidence that perpetuates the myth that ALL introverts are like that.

 You’ll find that all introverts are fine just the way they are until people begin to subtly suggest otherwise.

 2. Introverts tend to dislike small talk.

 If you really want to engage an introvert in conversation, skip the small talk. Introverts tend to love deepconversations on subjects that interest them. They love to debate, go past the superficial and poke around the depths in people’s minds to see what’s really going on in there. Most, if not all introverts tend to regard small talk as a waste of time, unless it’s with someone new they just met.
This characteristic probably contributes to another misconception that extroverts have of introverts - the misconception that all introverts are arrogant.


 Because extroverts notice that introverts don’t talk that much with other people. Therefore, extroverts assume that introverts think they’re too good to talk to others, hence arrogant and that’s hardlythe case.

 It’s just a matter of preference.

 Extroverts thrive on small talk. Introverts abhor it.

 There’s nothing wrong with either choice, it’s just a matter of preference.

 This brings us to the third point.

 3. Introverts do like to socialize – only in a different manner and less frequently than extroverts.

 Yes, it’s true. Contrary to the majority of public opinion, introverts do like to socialize, but again, only in a different manner and less frequently than extroverts.

 Introverts love anything that involves deep conversation. They get energized by discussing subjects that are important to them and they love see what and how other people think, to connect the dots, to dig deep, to find root causes, to use logical thinking via debate in conversation, etc.

 And what’s more, introverts can do a lot of things extroverts are naturally good at - give great speeches, schmooze with everyone, be the life of the party, charm the socks off of total strangers - but only for a short period of time. After that, they need time for themselves which brings us to the fourth point.

 4. Introverts need time alone to recharge.

 Extroverts tend to think introverts have something against them as they constantly seem to refuse generous invites to social engagements. Introverts do appreciate the offers, but it’s just that they know it will take a lot of energy out of them if they pursue these social functions.

 They need time alone like they need food and water. Give them their space. There’s nothing wrong with them. They’re not depressed and they’re not sad. They just need time alone to recharge their batteries.

 5. Introverts are socially well adjusted.

 Most introverts are well aware of all the social nuances, customs, and mannerisms when it comes to interacting with other people, but they simply don’t choose to socialize as much as extroverts, which makes it easy for extroverts to assume that introverts are not socially well adjusted, as they have not seen much evidence of them interacting with other people.

 This just exacerbates previous misconceptions and gives way to labeling introverts as nerds, geeks, loners, etc.

 It’s easy to understand why society tends to value extroverts over introverts. Human beings have lived in a tribal society so having to interact frequently with people came to be a regarded as a very good skill when it came to survival.

 But because of this high value placed on extroversion, introverts tend to feel trapped and find themselves in a catch 22 situation.

 Do introverts stay true to who they are and risk social alienation and isolation or do introverts conform and join the extroverted side, pretending to be somebody they’re not just to fit in?

This is precisely why I adding this article, because if the extroverts can become more educated about introverts, introverts will be able to feel free to stay true to who they are, and that’s a good thing from society’s point of view.

 Trying to “turn” an introverted person into an extroverted person is detrimental because it gives off a subtle suggestion that there is something wrong with them, hampering their self worth and esteem when there is absolutely nothing wrong in the first place.

 There’s nothing wrong with introverts.

 In fact, introverts are the leading pioneers of advancements in human civilization. Albert Einstein, Issac Newton, Charles Darwin are a few introverts that come to mind, just to name a few.

And for those of you not interested in science, but pop culture, you’ll be surprised to see a lot of well known names in Hollywood are introverts as well. Julia Roberts, Steven Spielberg, Christian Bale to name a few as well.

 And for those interested in sports, Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods come to mind as athletes who are introverts as well.

 Introverts have a lot to bring to the table. They have an amazing ability to discover new thoughts, an uncanny ability to focus, to concentrate, to connect the dots, to observe and note things that most people miss, to listen extremely well and are often found having a rich and vivid imagination too.

 The more extroverts become knowledgeable about introverts, the less tension and misunderstanding there will be among the two.

 So if you’re an introvert reading this, send a copy of this article to all your extrovert friends so they can get a better idea of what you’re all about.

 It’s time to finally clear the air