Thursday, July 12, 2012

OK, SO HERE'S THE THING...!

OK, here’s the thing…
I’ve been living in a small, one bedroom on the 2nd floor of a house apt for 30 yrs. Due to a recent burn accident with my feet; I was suggested to move out while I was hospitalized by my older brother and younger sister (who I can't help but love!!)

  I knew, for several other reasons, I needed to move anyway: I let the apt go…..my overall health was bad and I didn’t have the energy to even do the laundry and the dishes, general clean up, plus, the state of the apt house itself had been deteriorated as well. It was becoming unsafe too.

  I’ve been living on a small disability income for over 25 years, so my choices for a better place were far and in between. I accepted that, and, being hospitalized for an undetermined amount of time, I also knew I’d be at the mercy of my family, which I was dreading ("God, help me!!!)

  I’m not particular close to my family; I’m more a loner, not really into the whole ‘family’ dynamic. It’s not my thing. Been a comfirmed bachelor for 38yrs

  Living on a modest income all my adult life, I’ve become accustomed to find some sense of little pride in acquiring some of life’s small creature comforts; a flat screen TV (not in of those gigantic 50” screen ones), a desktop & laptop computer (OK, they’re a little outdated, but the get the job done), a nice size microwave (Yes, I’m no cook!), and some bedroom and living room furniture. I was comfortable.

  Well, things got turned around when my ‘family’ stepped in. Although with good intentions, they’ve decided that they didn’t like the way I was living my life, so they went about discarding what they deem what they thought what I didn’t need. Just chucking my stuff out into the street, all the while, assuming what I’ll need for a smaller place.

  Oh, BTW, did I mention that they assured me that finding me another apt wouldn’t be a problem, even a 1 bedroom? Well, that was in September 2011, and it’s now July 2012, and I found my own studio apt. Now, don’t get me wrong, my sister has been great in assisting me with trying to find me a place (bless her!), but I believe she didn’t think it would take as long as it did.

  So now, I’m trying to assess what I exactly I have (left), and what I can use in my smaller place.
Rather than opting for the comfort of regular mattress set, I got a sofabed. Nothing says “I really don’t want any company (as you get older)” than a large ass mattress in your living area!!! ;-) I went through that stage in my youth when that was “cute, independent, sexy, and bohemian’, but when you’re hitting 60, that’s just ‘sad’.

  I’d rather have the possible last 2 decades of my life with the ‘appearance’ of having friends and family (if they behave!), stopping by (and calling ahead of time, of course!).

  So, I needed to store the sofabed with one of my other older brother’s houses that he’s turning into a duplex. He’s already storing my bedroom’s dresser, chest drawer, a 2 night stands. Also, 3 low shelved floor cabinets that I had in my living room (like a credenza), which I also appreciate!

  He asked me if I had enough room for all my furniture. Now my apt won’t be ready for to move in to about 2-3 weeks, and I did see a different but same size apt a few weeks ago (jusonce), andI got a good sense of how much of my large furniture I can use. It seems I can use the bedroom furniture, but not the living room cabinets. So he suggested that I should throw the cabinets away…HUH?

I mentioned it to my oldest brother……he agrees…..wait, this is the same brother that, when it came to my other things, as he puts it, calmly “Oh yeah, we threw out A LOT of stuff”!!

The thing that bothers me is the sense of apathy my family deals with my life and property. OK, they’re all doing well, and have been doing better than I ever had. They all have families. They have the means and luxury to go thru and easily discard things whenever it’s no longer needed or wanted, but I don’t. They're kids may break some toy or game; just get them another (bigger) one. Your cellphone breaks, get another (better) one… I don’t have that luxury.

I just have to make do with what I have, or, at least until I can afford to get another one, which may not be better or bigger. That’s just my stage in life…..and’s that’s OK. I’ve accepted it. But I have trouble accepting when people ‘devalue’ one’s property, one’s lifestyle, to which follows to one’s dignity. Let me at least have that!

People need to consider 'what' they're saying to 'who'. We don't live in a 'one size fits all' world.

I don’t have much in my life, never had, and probably never will…..all I do have is just the little things in life that I enjoy; my memories, my craft, and trying to be the good and kind of son my Mom raised me to be.

7 comments:

Commodore Cat said...

"I don’t have much in my life, never had, and probably never will…..all I do have is just the little things in life that I enjoy; my memories, my craft, and trying to be the good and kind of son my Mom raised me to be."

Well said.

'THAT CROCHET GUY!!' said...

Thanks!!

Juliejaz said...

Hello, I happened onto your blog this morning and I've spent way too much time reading all the back posts - I really ought to be doing some house cleaning and laundry. You have had a really rough time and I admire your strength of character.

You've made some really nice things. Looking through your flicker stuff. I really loved the shell bolero.

I've got you bookmarked.

Have a great day!

Diane Rota said...

I've admired your work for many years. You have tremendous talent!

jd said...

ken,
it seems that you have more compassion and creativity than your family of origin. good intentions aside, where are their manners?? it's extremely presumptuous to discard the possessions of anyone else. i hate to think what they might discard in my house - and i'm certainly not 'poor'. i just like Goodwill-chic! but, i like my things. don't we all? why do your sibs not see this? even if their possessions are nicer than yours, they make more money than you do, they don't have your creative abilities and your sensibility about those in the world around you. you may be a 'loner' in the real world but online you are well connected and highly thought of!
jd in st louis

Elaine said...

I would suggest that because your family easily replaces their belongings, they haven't had to develop the foresight and care re: possessions that you have painstakingly learned over the years. Rather than being a judgement upon your life, maybe they just weren't as capable of putting themselves in your shoes, and seeing things through your eyes?

'THAT CROCHET GUY!!' said...

Thanks, but that will never happen. Most of the things are irreplaceable. My oldest brother thought most of my stuff was junk anyway. And I don't really know who else in my family actually was in my place.I offered my sister and 3 sister-in-laws that were in charge of my crocheted items, that, in a jesture of kindess, that they could pick out anything they wanted. BIG MISTAKE!